It's Okay To Cry

Today was tough I didn't think I was going to get through it but I did! The past month and a half I have learned that it is okay to cry. You don't need a reason and you don't need to feel bad about it. Nothing feels better then after you cry and today it was the best thing on this planet. I woke up late but that is no different from every morning I sleep way to long but it is because my body and mind need the rest. It was not a good nights sleep though I had very vivid nightmares that left me waking up in a cold sweat with my heart racing. I didn't get everything I needed to get done in the morning. The day was so beautiful today though sunny and just right. I went to school and suprisingly got the double duty of writting a paper for another class in my first class. I have procrastinated a lot this semester and I am really hard on myself about it now and I have made excuses for myself but it is true just the past two months my world has been shaken like a little kid and a snow globe. I am finding myself and unfortunately I have to walk down all the side roads that people have made and seal them off so I can't get lost in the catacombs or my mind. School went by super fast and I was happy but the day still wasn't over. I went to work and flew under the radar so my terrible assistant store director couldn't find me. His name is Glen and well he is pretty much Satan, he belittles me and uses intimidation to make you feel stupid. I then went to Mount Ogden Junior High School and delt with children that are so disrespectful it is ridiculous! Then a tender mercy came and it brought me close to tears. I studied really hard for my human development test and I passed with an 80% which means no final for me and a passing C+ for the course. Then my friend Heidee had the music that I need to play at grams funeral, music I couldn't find in any store I just have to drop it down an octave! On my way home memories just came flooding back of everything good and bad that has happened this year. I started to cry as I realized the battle that still raged inside of me I never slowed down to handle it so it just appears when I am weak. And I sat there in my car crying wishing I could forget everything that I didn't have any memories that I could start over new I wouldn't know anything about my life and felt nothing when I drove by a house, restraunt, or area. Then I thought about all the amazing friends I have in my life and how they give me a reason to remember. How they give me these little peeks of happiness and they stand so strong as I try to fight off everything. They gather around my heart and fix it and don't let anyone kick me while I am down. I realized how blessed I am to have such good example who remind me that am worth so much and shouldn't deminish my value. I love you friends who keep me strong everyday and when you pick me up when I can't go any longer.